Feelings are such a weird thing. I have been thinking this morning of all the friends I don't talk to on a regular basis anyone. Some of them I still consider friends and others...I wouldn't label them as such. What makes that difference? Even if I don't talk to certain friends everyday, I can still feel there sincerity when we do get the chance to catch up. Those that I still consider friends have a way of showing me that they have a interest in what's going on in my life and they make sure I know how they are. The feelings that I am struggling with now are the "friends" who no longer appear sincere to me. Maybe they don't take the opportunity to really listen to me or to inform me about what's happening in their life. Can I be friends with someone if I don't even know the details of the BIG events in their life?
All of these thoughts leave me wondering if it's my fault or part my fault. Am I also being insincere? Maybe so. I recently was assigned a project in class to have a meaningful conversation with a stranger of a different culture. I chose a sweet older lady from church who I had only said a casual good morning to. After our first "interview" or conversation, I was on cloud nine. Our conversation was so open, honest, and meaningful. After we talked for over an hour, this relative strangerr stood up and hugged me like I was her own granddaughter. I felt loved. Not many times in life do we get the opportunity to get to know a stranger on such a personal level. Or is it that we don't take the time to? I'm leaning more towards the second.
I wrote this post mainly to straighten out my feelings on friendship. Maybe it's time that I start to water the friendships that have started to wilt. If I show how much the friendship of others means to me, maybe I will receive love in return. Cheers to learning what it means to be a friend and have a friend.
XOXO, Amanda